Pre-Planning a Plus

In terms of caregiving, we are often thrust into a situation that is going to change things for our families logistically, financially and emotionally. We have to keep in mind to react to our new situation logically. The key to this is to research all available elder care options before making a hasty decision that will affect both our lives and the lives of our loved ones. There are several different types of elder care facilities that are available and some factors to look at when making your decision include:

• What does each facility have to offer?
• How much do the facilities cost?
• How will these costs increase based on level of care needed by your parent or loved one?
• How does each facility measure up in terms of quality of care?
• What option is going to work best for one or both of your parents?

But why should the burden be left on you to make these decisions? Sitting down with your parents or loved ones to discuss and pre-plan what methods will be used if/when the time for caregiving comes will alleviate stress for both them and for you. This should be a process and not a single discussion that requires a definitive outcome. Let your parents be involved as much as possible for it is their every day lives that are being discussed. Here are some topics to think about during these talks.

• Your parent(s) health and finances
• Needs / wants for socialization
• Risk and value of moving versus "aging in place"
• Size and style of facilities to suit your parents needs (smaller care homes, residential communities for the elderly, assisted living and continued care retirement communities)

Planning and preparedness will help all involved with this emotional time. Having a plan of action in place will allow you to worry about things of more importance such as the health of your loved one and what you can do to continue to make them comfortable during these trying times.

History Repeats Itself

In the late 70s and early 80s, large numbers of women returned to the workplace on a full time basis. This led to a boom in the child care industry as many facilities popped up across the United States to fill the need for two income families. The child care industry increase from just under 300,000 child-care workers in 1985 to just over 800,000 workers in 2007.

History is repeating itself but this time around, the increase is in the amount of senior caregivers and facilities across our nation. According to Home Instead Senior Care, it appears that the senior care industry is following the trends of the child-care boom. Personal and home care nurses and aides are expected to grow by more than 50 percent between the years 2006 and 2016. This is an increase in jobs from 767,000 to 1.5 million according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Personal aides who help seniors at home with meal preperation, light housekeeping and general companionship is the second fastest growing occupation in the industry.

Boomers have been the key in fueling both industries. It was their children that boomed child-care and it is now their parents that are creating the need for new services and regulations for the elderly. This "sandwich" generation is the stimulus for industry growths and declines. Who knows if we will ever see this type of history repeat itself with future generations.

Men Assuming the Caregiving Role

According to the National Alliance for Caregiving and the Alzheimer's Association, men now make up 40% of family care providers. This number is up 19 percent from a similar study in 1996. Men have become more of a "hands on" style of caregiver in the past 10 years, straying from their roles of just taking care of financial records, arranging parent's schedules, etc. In some cases they are now the primary source for personal hygeine (including changing of incontinence supplies and bathing), meals, medications and other tasks that have in the past been left to a female relative such as a sister or wife. Why the change? Several factors such as more women being full time workers, smaller family and support roles and the rising costs off healthcare all have contributed.

One Step Away

When creating the Fenway Medical web site, I was aiming for a specific target audience of baby boomers who are now taking care of their elderly parents at home. During the process though, I have learned first hand that caregivers are not only tending to the needs of an older loved one.
My best friend in life has recently been overcome by frequent panic attacks and mild depression. Always a traveller and someone who has a zest for life, the past few months have taken their toll. I have been thrust into the caregiver role. Due to uncertainty about public places, I now am in charge of tasks such as shopping and picking up carry out. Frequent tiredness has required that I take on additional responsibilities around the house and in our friend circles.
I have learned several things during this experience. The first is to respect what your loved one brings to a relationship and the little things that they offer every day. Second, you need to take care of yourself. My site has published frequent advice on the health of the actual caregiver and how you need to also look after yourself. Maybe I didn't fully buy into this when just writing the words but now I understand. You may not feel that you have enough time in the day but as a caregiver you need to remember to care for you. And, if you are not currently a caregiver, keep in mind to look after yourself if you are given these responsibilities as we are all just one step away from being the rock that they look to for guidance.

A Caregiver's Checklist

At Fenway Medical, we offer not only bulk medical supplies to our site visitors but also an advice section that caregivers can utilize for helpful information and insight on current caregiver news. Here is an example of a caregiver "checklist" posted at www.fenwaymedical.com.

Assessing Their Needs
Does your parent need help with grooming, bathing, or dressing?
Does your parent need help with housekeeping, shopping, or yard work?
Does your friend need help planning or preparing meals?
Is your parent unable to drive or get around on public transportation alone?
Does your parent need help managing finances and paying bills?
Does your parent need help making legal and other important decisions?
Does your parent have trouble functioning at home? Would modifications help?
Does your parent have trouble with hearing, vision, or memory?

Get Permission
Financial power of attorney to make financial decisions and pay bills
Living will to make life-support decisions
Medical power of attorney to make health care decisions
Durable power of attorney to make legal decisions
Access to safe deposit box
May choose to be added to deeds and mortgages
May need to be added to automobile insurance
Know the person's wishes (medical treatments, funeral, finances, etc.)

Information to Have on HandI

Insurance (Medicare / Medicaid number, supplement, other policies)
Doctors (names, phone numbers, and other contact information)
Medical history (medications, allergies, conditions, procedures)
Identification (social security, military ID, driver's license numbers)
Address list (friends, neighbors, family)
Service providers (attorney, financial advisor, clergy, accountant)
Financial (account numbers, checkbook, investments, tax records)
Legal (wills, powers of attorney, health care directive)
Deeds (house, other property, car title, boat title)
Insurance (life, medical, auto, homeowner's)
Household (mortgage, apartment lease, property tax records)
Vital records (birth certificate, marriage license, divorce decree)
Final wishes (organ donation, burial, property distribution)

Make Sure that You
Respect your parent's independence, even while taking care of them
Allow your parent to make as many decisions as appropriate
Have reasonable expectations of what your parent can do independently

Talk regularly with your parent about their concerns, desires, and frustrations
Make informed decisions that are in the best interest of your parent's needs
Show compassion while you are trying to be efficient and responsible

Taking Care of Yourself
Recognize when you are getting worn out and need a break
Make use of support groups, family, and other caregivers in your situation
Take regular breaks to do something enjoyable for yourself